big non-shocking revelation of 2018/2019: i FACKING LUV CLOTHEZZZZZ

this week is gonna be a shitshow. my brain is already all over the place but i can just feel the pms coming on like a storm approaching. it’s been making me go crazy and i don’t have time to waste on this shit anymore. has anyone used cbd? i wanna look into it. and i also want to start weaning off my meds next time i refill em, in 2-3 months, so i got work to doooo

i’ve been having so many dreams it’s overwhelming, because of being in and out of sleep for hours in the morning, i don’t even bother writing them down because idk where to start. lots of cat dreams. i had one this morning that rose and i were doing a project together and had to present it. we were really unprepared/last minute, our slideshows weren’t even combined, she presented her part first and i realized she had gone in a different direction with the topic than i had. and then after she did her part our prof made some comments and then everyone started talking and i was like wait i still have to do my part and she was like oh shit. but everyone was talking so she was like we’ll do it on monday. and then i realized i had said some stuff to the teacher in french, and i was like wait this isn’t high school everything is in english, but i wasn’t 100% sure because i was so stressed i couldn’t think straight. and then i came in on monday and i was like wait we’re not supposed to have classes today, but a bunch of people showed up so she told me to just present anyway. i think i woke up before i actually presented anything? anyway i do hope that a) i don’t show up for class on the first monday because we don’t have class the first monday, b) i get to work/hang out with rose because i think she’s in two of my classes, and c) i am better prepared

i love new york i want to live here for a while

i think i’m going to have a good ass summer… if i can land an internship and get that course out of the way, combined with a flexible campus job, then i’ll be low-stress but productive and have some time to work on my art as a side hustle. all while in new york city. fingers crossed. i’m daydreaming because i just got an email about an ideal summer internship opportunity

i just love looking at beautiful things soooooo friggin much, esp homes and clothes, it makes me so happy and the fact that it makes me so happy makes me happy. i’ve been just looking at all this beautiful handmade stuff on etsy for hours without buying anything and my happy levels are thru the roof. makes me want to put more effort into clothes and be more creative but i don’t know if i’m ready for that kind of energy

i have bought waaay too much shit in the past year but if i’ve learned one thing it’s to always favourite things or put them in your cart and sign up for mailing lists, can’t remember the last time i paid full price for something

i just wanna be a mama and an artist and an archivist and an interior/diy queen

just like a year or two ago i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life and could not picture my future, but now i feel like i want to do enough things that i’m not worried about it

i was thinking about this summer and how i was so on top of the world compared to now. i’m still a ton better but i’ve been struggling. and other than it being the initial high, i think my life was just really simple and had zero stressors in it most of the year. so, in january we clean up and figure shit out